1 00:00:08,084 --> 00:00:09,183 Why are you up? 2 00:00:09,185 --> 00:00:10,484 How am I supposed to sleep? 3 00:00:10,486 --> 00:00:12,386 I've been married less than 24 hours, 4 00:00:12,388 --> 00:00:14,221 and my wife isn't speaking to me. 5 00:00:15,525 --> 00:00:18,592 Perhaps you can think of this in a more positive light. 6 00:00:18,594 --> 00:00:21,162 In one day, you've managed to do 7 00:00:21,164 --> 00:00:23,764 what it takes many couples decades to achieve. 8 00:00:23,766 --> 00:00:25,699 (knocking on door) 9 00:00:26,502 --> 00:00:28,202 Hi. 10 00:00:28,204 --> 00:00:29,336 Hey. 11 00:00:29,338 --> 00:00:30,237 You couldn't sleep either? 12 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,506 Of course not. 13 00:00:32,508 --> 00:00:33,674 Me neither. 14 00:00:33,676 --> 00:00:37,178 But I just had a tickle in my throat. 15 00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:39,613 Not profound marital problems. 16 00:00:39,615 --> 00:00:41,448 What are we gonna do? 17 00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:42,650 I don't know. 18 00:00:42,652 --> 00:00:44,885 Please, tell me how I can fix it. 19 00:00:44,887 --> 00:00:47,888 Glad you asked. 20 00:00:47,890 --> 00:00:50,424 As I see it, there's a simple solution. 21 00:00:50,426 --> 00:00:53,594 Your lips had a dalliance with the lips of another woman. 22 00:00:53,596 --> 00:00:55,529 It seems only logical that 23 00:00:55,531 --> 00:00:57,198 to restore balance to the relationship, 24 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,267 you should find another man and dally with him. 25 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,636 And by dally, I mean some hardcore 26 00:01:02,638 --> 00:01:04,371 mouth-on-mouth action. 27 00:01:04,373 --> 00:01:07,274 Okay, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. 28 00:01:07,276 --> 00:01:09,610 Actually, I think he's onto something. 29 00:01:09,612 --> 00:01:11,378 Y-You can't be serious. 30 00:01:11,380 --> 00:01:14,315 'Cause I messed up and made out with a girl, 31 00:01:14,317 --> 00:01:16,750 you're gonna do the same with a random guy? 32 00:01:16,752 --> 00:01:19,420 I'm currently single. 33 00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:22,756 That's true. You are. 34 00:01:24,527 --> 00:01:26,994 What is happening?! 35 00:01:28,331 --> 00:01:29,964 I will tell you what is happening. 36 00:01:29,966 --> 00:01:32,266 I am saving my best friend's marriage. 37 00:01:40,009 --> 00:01:41,308 (gasps) 38 00:01:42,879 --> 00:01:46,513 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 39 00:01:46,515 --> 00:01:49,850 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 40 00:01:49,852 --> 00:01:51,485 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 41 00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:54,021 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 42 00:01:54,023 --> 00:01:56,690 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 43 00:01:56,692 --> 00:01:59,360 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 44 00:01:59,362 --> 00:02:01,262 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 45 00:02:01,264 --> 00:02:03,230 ♪ Bang! ♪ 46 00:02:03,231 --> 00:02:07,231 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x02 ♪ The Separation Oscillation Original Air Date on September 47 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:12,293 48 00:02:12,318 --> 00:02:14,618 (Skype ringing) 49 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:16,920 Sheldon, I don't think you understand 50 00:02:16,922 --> 00:02:18,389 how being broken up works. 51 00:02:18,391 --> 00:02:20,658 The only way I can sort through my feelings 52 00:02:20,660 --> 00:02:22,426 is if there is space between us. 53 00:02:22,428 --> 00:02:25,396 Every time I see you, it re-traumatizes me. 54 00:02:25,398 --> 00:02:27,531 I go through the pain all over again. 55 00:02:27,533 --> 00:02:29,700 Well, hello to you, too. 56 00:02:30,770 --> 00:02:32,469 What do you want? 57 00:02:32,471 --> 00:02:34,638 I understand we're no longer a couple, 58 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:38,208 but I would like to remind you that we made a baby together. 59 00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:42,212 What baby? 60 00:02:42,214 --> 00:02:45,215 A precocious little Internet show 61 00:02:45,217 --> 00:02:47,785 known as "Fun With Flags." 62 00:02:48,654 --> 00:02:50,287 I'm hanging up. 63 00:02:50,289 --> 00:02:52,423 Great. See you in about half an hour. 64 00:02:52,425 --> 00:02:56,026 Sheldon, I am not doing "Fun With Flags" with you. 65 00:02:56,028 --> 00:02:57,194 Why not? 66 00:02:57,196 --> 00:02:59,129 Because we're broken up. 67 00:02:59,131 --> 00:03:01,098 Sonny and Cher made it work. 68 00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:02,966 Their variety show kept going 69 00:03:02,968 --> 00:03:04,034 long after the divorce, 70 00:03:04,036 --> 00:03:06,670 and here we are still talking about them. 71 00:03:06,672 --> 00:03:09,873 No one's talking about Sonny and Cher. 72 00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:11,909 You must be thinking about Donny and Marie, 73 00:03:11,911 --> 00:03:14,545 'cause you and I are clearly talking about Sonny and Cher. 74 00:03:15,981 --> 00:03:17,715 Sheldon, this has to stop. 75 00:03:17,717 --> 00:03:19,283 I know it's hard. 76 00:03:19,285 --> 00:03:20,984 It's hard for me, too. 77 00:03:20,986 --> 00:03:22,886 But I've seen and talked to you more 78 00:03:22,888 --> 00:03:24,421 in the two days we've been broken up 79 00:03:24,423 --> 00:03:27,124 than in the last two months that we were together. 80 00:03:27,126 --> 00:03:28,792 Well, if you want to see less of me, 81 00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:31,628 maybe we should go out again. 82 00:03:32,798 --> 00:03:34,965 I can't believe you made out with Mandy Chao. 83 00:03:34,967 --> 00:03:37,000 Trust me, I wish it never happened. 84 00:03:37,002 --> 00:03:39,403 And you knew about this this whole time? 85 00:03:39,405 --> 00:03:40,604 I did. 86 00:03:40,606 --> 00:03:42,639 And you didn't think to tell me? 87 00:03:44,243 --> 00:03:46,577 Leonard asked me to keep it to myself. 88 00:03:46,579 --> 00:03:48,912 Let's leave Leonard out of this for the moment. 89 00:03:50,182 --> 00:03:52,716 This is about you and me. 90 00:03:54,086 --> 00:03:56,787 Wait, wait, wait, how is my day-old marriage falling apart 91 00:03:56,789 --> 00:03:57,888 becoming about you two? 92 00:03:57,890 --> 00:03:59,056 Hang on. 93 00:03:59,058 --> 00:04:01,759 What do I need to do to make you trust me? 94 00:04:01,761 --> 00:04:03,727 You think it's hard having one wife, 95 00:04:03,729 --> 00:04:05,195 try having two. 96 00:04:06,298 --> 00:04:07,698 I bet you told Bernadette 97 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:10,467 all about he was screwing around with Mandy Chao. 98 00:04:10,469 --> 00:04:11,769 Oh, we didn't screw around. 99 00:04:11,771 --> 00:04:13,237 We just got drunk and made out. 100 00:04:13,239 --> 00:04:16,006 Whatever. It would have been nice to hear it from you. 101 00:04:29,655 --> 00:04:32,022 What are you doing here? 102 00:04:32,024 --> 00:04:34,458 I'm here to return your belongings. 103 00:04:34,460 --> 00:04:36,460 That's what people who've broken up do. 104 00:04:36,462 --> 00:04:39,696 And you didn't do your compulsive knocking ritual 105 00:04:39,698 --> 00:04:41,298 so I would open the door. 106 00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:42,699 On the contrary, 107 00:04:42,701 --> 00:04:46,136 you no longer get to enjoy my charming eccentricities. 108 00:04:47,473 --> 00:04:50,140 We're not friends with benefits. 109 00:04:51,377 --> 00:04:52,910 Just give me the box. 110 00:04:52,912 --> 00:04:54,778 W-Wait. Don't you want to go through it 111 00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:56,613 to make sure I haven't forgotten anything? 112 00:04:56,615 --> 00:04:58,816 Fine. 113 00:04:59,985 --> 00:05:01,718 My old scarf. 114 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,288 You wore it the night we went ice-skating. Remember? 115 00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:06,190 You mean the night that I went ice-skating, 116 00:05:06,192 --> 00:05:07,524 and you stood at the rail 117 00:05:07,526 --> 00:05:09,760 Googling the symptoms of hypothermia? 118 00:05:12,231 --> 00:05:14,898 We made one heck of a team, huh? 119 00:05:17,169 --> 00:05:19,369 Whose bra is this? 120 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,339 It's not yours? 121 00:05:23,709 --> 00:05:25,375 Oh, my. 122 00:05:25,377 --> 00:05:27,544 How embarrassing for both of us. 123 00:05:29,715 --> 00:05:30,848 It's Penny's. 124 00:05:30,850 --> 00:05:32,649 Hey, you broke up with me. 125 00:05:32,651 --> 00:05:34,284 It is none of your business 126 00:05:34,286 --> 00:05:37,354 whose naked bosom I'm smooshing around like pizza dough. 127 00:05:37,356 --> 00:05:38,789 Good-bye. 128 00:05:43,028 --> 00:05:44,127 Amy. 129 00:05:44,129 --> 00:05:45,562 Amy. Amy. 130 00:05:45,564 --> 00:05:48,265 (sighs) 131 00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:50,367 Hmm. Tables work, too. 132 00:05:50,369 --> 00:05:52,169 Good to know. 133 00:05:54,306 --> 00:05:57,507 Ooh, brownies for girls' night! 134 00:05:57,509 --> 00:05:59,009 Hands off. I'm mad at you. 135 00:05:59,011 --> 00:06:00,110 (sighs) 136 00:06:00,112 --> 00:06:01,879 Look, I know it's a lot of money, 137 00:06:01,881 --> 00:06:03,614 but the guy at the store said 138 00:06:03,616 --> 00:06:06,650 in five to seven years, it'll pay for itself. 139 00:06:06,652 --> 00:06:08,886 What will pay for itself? 140 00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:16,193 Doesn't matter. What are you mad about? 141 00:06:17,029 --> 00:06:19,496 I'm mad at you for blabbing to me 142 00:06:19,498 --> 00:06:21,231 what Leonard did on the North Sea, 143 00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:22,699 and I'm mad that I've had to hide this 144 00:06:22,701 --> 00:06:24,034 from Penny for two years. 145 00:06:24,036 --> 00:06:26,937 And you have every right to be mad about those things. 146 00:06:26,939 --> 00:06:28,939 So, why don't you let me 147 00:06:28,941 --> 00:06:31,475 handle the credit card bill this month, huh? 148 00:06:31,477 --> 00:06:33,377 I mean, don't even look at it. 149 00:06:34,647 --> 00:06:36,847 I mean, if Penny finds out I've known all this time 150 00:06:36,849 --> 00:06:38,048 and haven't told her, 151 00:06:38,050 --> 00:06:40,017 she's gonna think I'm a terrible friend. 152 00:06:40,019 --> 00:06:41,551 I wish you never told me. 153 00:06:41,553 --> 00:06:43,954 And I wish Leonard never told me. 154 00:06:43,956 --> 00:06:46,256 He's the bad guy here. 155 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,493 I guess that's true. 156 00:06:49,495 --> 00:06:51,428 And you let Penny marry him. 157 00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:53,597 (scoffs) 158 00:06:53,599 --> 00:06:56,133 Compared to that, who cares if I bought 159 00:06:56,135 --> 00:06:58,902 a George Clooney limited edition manscaping kit? 160 00:07:03,509 --> 00:07:06,376 Hi. I'm calling about your marriage counseling services 161 00:07:06,378 --> 00:07:09,680 and was curious what your rate is. 162 00:07:11,116 --> 00:07:13,417 Really? 163 00:07:13,419 --> 00:07:15,085 Um, okay. 164 00:07:15,087 --> 00:07:18,322 Is there any kind of discount for length of marriage? 165 00:07:20,326 --> 00:07:22,492 'Cause we're just talking hours here. 166 00:07:25,531 --> 00:07:27,364 Hi. Call you back. 167 00:07:27,366 --> 00:07:28,398 Hey. 168 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,933 Can we talk? 169 00:07:29,935 --> 00:07:31,268 I would love that. 170 00:07:35,574 --> 00:07:36,873 All right, look, 171 00:07:36,875 --> 00:07:38,942 I'm sorry I said I was okay with everything 172 00:07:38,944 --> 00:07:40,077 before we got married. 173 00:07:40,079 --> 00:07:41,511 I hate that we're going through this, 174 00:07:41,513 --> 00:07:42,946 but I don't know what to do. 175 00:07:42,948 --> 00:07:45,282 If you don't mind waiting for a Groupon, 176 00:07:45,284 --> 00:07:47,551 we can try marriage counseling. 177 00:07:48,988 --> 00:07:50,087 Hello. 178 00:07:50,089 --> 00:07:51,188 Hey, uh, buddy, 179 00:07:51,190 --> 00:07:52,456 can we have some privacy? 180 00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:53,790 Oh, of course. 181 00:07:53,792 --> 00:07:56,093 Wouldn't want to intrude. 182 00:07:56,095 --> 00:07:58,428 This is yours. 183 00:08:04,470 --> 00:08:06,103 Okay, when I'm done with him, 184 00:08:06,105 --> 00:08:08,138 I'm gonna need more information. 185 00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:09,306 Nothing odd. 186 00:08:09,308 --> 00:08:11,475 I just wanted to rub Amy's nose in it. 187 00:08:12,745 --> 00:08:14,644 Okay, look, I might be overreacting, 188 00:08:14,646 --> 00:08:16,747 but how am I supposed to get past this 189 00:08:16,749 --> 00:08:18,715 when I know tomorrow you're gonna go to work 190 00:08:18,717 --> 00:08:20,283 and see this woman? 191 00:08:20,285 --> 00:08:21,618 Forgive me for eavesdropping, 192 00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:25,255 but as I see it, there's a simple solution. 193 00:08:25,257 --> 00:08:28,125 Wake up, wake up, wake up. 194 00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:33,964 Bring Penny to meet Mandy. 195 00:08:33,966 --> 00:08:35,799 What? Why? 196 00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:38,535 Well, right now, Penny's imagination is running wild, 197 00:08:38,537 --> 00:08:40,404 but if they meet, that will eliminate 198 00:08:40,406 --> 00:08:42,939 the mystery and alleviate her fears. 199 00:08:42,941 --> 00:08:46,743 Like when that Sparkletts guy let me look under his eye patch. 200 00:08:49,448 --> 00:08:53,150 Uh, first of all, you made that guy cry. 201 00:08:53,152 --> 00:08:56,319 And we learned that you don't need an eyeball to do that. 202 00:08:59,191 --> 00:09:01,958 Secondly, I can't think of a more horrible idea 203 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:03,527 than Penny meeting Mandy. 204 00:09:03,529 --> 00:09:05,595 Really? Why is that? 205 00:09:05,597 --> 00:09:06,863 What, you actually want to meet her? 206 00:09:06,865 --> 00:09:08,231 No, but now that you're being weird about it, 207 00:09:08,233 --> 00:09:09,299 maybe I should. 208 00:09:09,301 --> 00:09:10,333 I'm not being weird. 209 00:09:10,335 --> 00:09:11,368 Am I being weird? 210 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:14,037 Yes. 211 00:09:14,039 --> 00:09:16,706 And that's coming from me. 212 00:09:17,576 --> 00:09:19,309 Fine, you want to meet her? 213 00:09:19,311 --> 00:09:21,111 No, I just want to know that when you're at work, 214 00:09:21,113 --> 00:09:22,546 there's nothing going on. 215 00:09:22,548 --> 00:09:23,914 How many times do I have to tell you? 216 00:09:23,916 --> 00:09:25,482 I have no interest in this woman. 217 00:09:25,484 --> 00:09:26,917 Yeah, well, maybe she has interest in you. 218 00:09:26,919 --> 00:09:28,385 In Leonard? 219 00:09:28,387 --> 00:09:30,821 Oh, even the Sparkletts guy could see that's unlikely. 220 00:09:39,916 --> 00:09:42,950 I guess my big problem is I never saw Leonard 221 00:09:42,952 --> 00:09:45,986 as the kind of guy who would do something like this. 222 00:09:45,988 --> 00:09:48,656 Anybody can make a mistake in a weak moment. 223 00:09:48,658 --> 00:09:50,725 (sighs) What do you think? 224 00:09:51,594 --> 00:09:53,427 Oh, I don't know what to think. 225 00:09:53,429 --> 00:09:56,564 But then again, I just found out about it. 226 00:09:58,368 --> 00:10:00,501 You know, I fell in love with Leonard 227 00:10:00,503 --> 00:10:02,103 because he wasn't anything like the guys 228 00:10:02,105 --> 00:10:03,437 I was used to dating. 229 00:10:03,439 --> 00:10:05,272 I mean, I knew those guys weren't above cheating 230 00:10:05,274 --> 00:10:08,342 because that's usually how we met. 231 00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:10,678 Come on, you know Leonard's not like that. 232 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,913 I want to believe you. I really do. 233 00:10:12,915 --> 00:10:15,282 Am I being naive? 234 00:10:15,284 --> 00:10:16,951 Oh, I don't know. 235 00:10:16,953 --> 00:10:18,886 This is all so new to me. 236 00:10:18,888 --> 00:10:21,822 I'm still processing. 237 00:10:21,824 --> 00:10:24,759 You know, he never would've done this when we first met. 238 00:10:24,761 --> 00:10:26,026 He's cockier now. 239 00:10:26,028 --> 00:10:28,062 That's because you made him more confident. 240 00:10:28,064 --> 00:10:30,698 You know, if you think about it, without you, 241 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:33,000 he never would've grown into the person he is now. 242 00:10:33,002 --> 00:10:35,803 I mean, sure, more women might notice him, 243 00:10:35,805 --> 00:10:37,872 but I think it's better to have a guy be with you 244 00:10:37,874 --> 00:10:39,340 because he wants to be 245 00:10:39,342 --> 00:10:41,609 and not because he thinks he doesn't have any other choice. 246 00:10:41,611 --> 00:10:43,978 I never thought about it like that. 247 00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:46,647 Oh, me neither, not until just now. 248 00:10:48,885 --> 00:10:51,585 Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, 249 00:10:51,587 --> 00:10:54,555 and welcome to "Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun With Flags." 250 00:10:54,557 --> 00:10:57,491 You may notice that I'm holding a remote control. 251 00:10:57,493 --> 00:11:00,027 That's because my cameraperson and co-host, 252 00:11:00,029 --> 00:11:01,562 Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, 253 00:11:01,564 --> 00:11:04,698 has chosen to end her relationship with me. 254 00:11:06,502 --> 00:11:09,403 I'm going to pause here to let that sink in. 255 00:11:16,512 --> 00:11:18,078 Okay. 256 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:19,647 If you need to pause a little longer, 257 00:11:19,649 --> 00:11:21,982 just click the pause button. 258 00:11:21,984 --> 00:11:24,018 But the show must go on. 259 00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:26,687 And thankfully, all the things my girlfriend used to do 260 00:11:26,689 --> 00:11:29,290 can be taken care of with my right hand. 261 00:11:36,632 --> 00:11:39,767 Anyway, let's not spend any more time talking about her. 262 00:11:39,769 --> 00:11:41,035 We're here to talk about flags. 263 00:11:41,037 --> 00:11:42,203 Tonight's theme: 264 00:11:42,205 --> 00:11:44,205 flags of countries that have been torn apart 265 00:11:44,207 --> 00:11:46,907 and the women I have a feeling were responsible. 266 00:11:50,012 --> 00:11:52,179 You guys have any idea how much it costs 267 00:11:52,181 --> 00:11:53,614 to see a marriage counselor? 268 00:11:53,616 --> 00:11:55,115 $250 an hour. Why? 269 00:11:55,117 --> 00:11:57,651 How do you know? 270 00:11:57,653 --> 00:12:00,054 Bernadette and I have occasionally gone to one to, 271 00:12:00,056 --> 00:12:01,956 you know, stay on top of things. 272 00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:05,459 And I'm just hearing about this now? 273 00:12:05,461 --> 00:12:07,328 Dude, just because we're best friends 274 00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:10,030 doesn't mean that I have to tell you everything that goes on. 275 00:12:10,032 --> 00:12:12,766 You don't have to, you should want to. 276 00:12:13,870 --> 00:12:16,103 Oh, great, there's Mandy. 277 00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:20,541 Why are marine biologists always so cute? 278 00:12:20,543 --> 00:12:22,510 I don't know, 279 00:12:22,512 --> 00:12:25,713 but I'd like to get lost in her Bermuda Triangle. 280 00:12:26,449 --> 00:12:27,748 That's not helpful. 281 00:12:27,750 --> 00:12:29,416 Then I won't say 282 00:12:29,418 --> 00:12:32,586 I'd like to cover three-quarters of her surface area. 283 00:12:32,588 --> 00:12:33,988 Are we done? 284 00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:35,656 Not yet, this is fun. 285 00:12:35,658 --> 00:12:37,424 Ooh, I know. 286 00:12:37,426 --> 00:12:39,860 I'd let her free my willy. 287 00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:41,362 Where you going? 288 00:12:41,364 --> 00:12:43,631 I'm gonna ask her if she'd be willing to talk to Penny, 289 00:12:43,633 --> 00:12:45,032 tell her she has nothing to worry about. 290 00:12:45,034 --> 00:12:46,467 Leonard, wait. What? 291 00:12:46,469 --> 00:12:48,636 I'd like to SpongeBob her SquarePants. 292 00:12:49,338 --> 00:12:52,072 Now we are done. (chuckles) 293 00:12:53,409 --> 00:12:55,142 Hey. 294 00:12:55,144 --> 00:12:56,176 Oh, hi, Leonard. What's up? 295 00:12:56,178 --> 00:12:58,145 Uh, do you mind if I sit? 296 00:12:58,147 --> 00:12:59,647 Sure. 297 00:12:59,649 --> 00:13:01,782 So, um, I've been thinking a lot 298 00:13:01,784 --> 00:13:04,585 about you and me and... the boat. 299 00:13:04,587 --> 00:13:05,419 What about it? 300 00:13:05,421 --> 00:13:06,654 You know... 301 00:13:06,656 --> 00:13:08,622 what we did, when we were drunk. 302 00:13:08,624 --> 00:13:12,259 Oh, no, did I sleep with you, too? 303 00:13:12,261 --> 00:13:14,595 No, we just made out. 304 00:13:14,597 --> 00:13:16,597 Oh. Well, good for me. 305 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,567 So what can I do for you? 306 00:13:19,569 --> 00:13:23,003 Uh, okay, well, um, I got married recently. 307 00:13:23,005 --> 00:13:24,371 Oh, congratulations! 308 00:13:24,373 --> 00:13:26,874 To Sheldon? 309 00:13:26,876 --> 00:13:28,275 (chuckles) 310 00:13:28,277 --> 00:13:29,877 Never gets old. 311 00:13:29,879 --> 00:13:32,580 No, no, to a girl. 312 00:13:32,582 --> 00:13:34,949 Anyway, I told her what happened between you and me, 313 00:13:34,951 --> 00:13:37,685 and she's concerned about us seeing each other at work. 314 00:13:37,687 --> 00:13:40,187 It was just a kiss. Why would you even tell her? 315 00:13:40,189 --> 00:13:43,023 Because I didn't want there to be any secrets between us. 316 00:13:43,025 --> 00:13:44,491 Is that really the reason? 317 00:13:44,493 --> 00:13:46,660 What else would it be? 318 00:13:46,662 --> 00:13:48,062 I don't know. 319 00:13:48,064 --> 00:13:49,863 Sounds like you're trying to sabotage the relationship. 320 00:13:49,865 --> 00:13:52,099 No, I don't think so. 321 00:13:52,101 --> 00:13:55,469 Although, Penny did say exactly that. 322 00:13:55,471 --> 00:13:58,072 Okay, well, that's something to think about. 323 00:13:58,074 --> 00:14:01,108 You know, on some level, I've always believed 324 00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:03,143 that I don't deserve a woman like her. 325 00:14:03,145 --> 00:14:06,080 Oh, you're gonna think about that right here? 326 00:14:07,984 --> 00:14:10,084 I mean, she's really beautiful. 327 00:14:10,086 --> 00:14:12,086 She could have any guy she wants. 328 00:14:12,088 --> 00:14:13,721 Which is probably why 329 00:14:13,723 --> 00:14:16,490 it took her so many years to tell me she loved me. 330 00:14:16,492 --> 00:14:18,993 Maybe you should talk to a therapist about this. 331 00:14:18,995 --> 00:14:21,328 Too expensive. 332 00:14:23,165 --> 00:14:26,266 You'd think I'd be used to women withholding their love. 333 00:14:26,268 --> 00:14:27,601 I mean, my mother did. 334 00:14:27,603 --> 00:14:29,403 I mean, no matter how hard I tried, 335 00:14:29,405 --> 00:14:31,505 she just didn't have any interest in me. 336 00:14:31,507 --> 00:14:34,074 Imagine that. 337 00:14:34,076 --> 00:14:35,809 I wonder if that's why I have 338 00:14:35,811 --> 00:14:38,178 such a dysfunctional relationship with Sheldon. 339 00:14:38,180 --> 00:14:39,580 I had a dream 340 00:14:39,582 --> 00:14:42,282 the other night that I was in a cave 341 00:14:42,284 --> 00:14:45,285 and I was nursing a baby, 342 00:14:45,287 --> 00:14:49,356 but the baby had Sheldon's head on it. 343 00:14:51,227 --> 00:14:54,261 And your wife is worried about me? 344 00:14:54,997 --> 00:14:56,263 KOOTHRAPPALI: Hey, Leonard! 345 00:14:56,265 --> 00:14:57,431 When you're done, 346 00:14:57,433 --> 00:15:00,200 we came up with a bunch more. 347 00:15:03,406 --> 00:15:05,806 Then the Czech Republic says to Slovakia, 348 00:15:05,808 --> 00:15:08,409 "I don't think you understand how being broken up works!" 349 00:15:08,411 --> 00:15:10,411 Can you believe that? 350 00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:12,079 You'd think that the Czech Republic 351 00:15:12,081 --> 00:15:13,614 would try to hold on to what it had, 352 00:15:13,616 --> 00:15:15,582 given that it's not as young as it used to be. 353 00:15:15,584 --> 00:15:17,551 And I don't see any other countries 354 00:15:17,553 --> 00:15:20,654 lining up to invade its southern borders. 355 00:15:20,656 --> 00:15:22,823 I'm gonna kill him. 356 00:15:23,926 --> 00:15:25,492 But enough about the Czech Republic. 357 00:15:25,494 --> 00:15:28,162 Let's talk about the time Moldova made Romania 358 00:15:28,164 --> 00:15:31,031 a birthday cake and Romania said it tasted good 359 00:15:31,033 --> 00:15:32,299 even though it didn't. 360 00:15:32,301 --> 00:15:34,068 And yet Romania gets dumped. 361 00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:36,670 I'll pause here while you mull that one over. 362 00:15:38,474 --> 00:15:40,674 I know, right? 363 00:15:44,346 --> 00:15:47,548 So, you said you had something to tell me. 364 00:15:47,550 --> 00:15:48,916 Okay, yeah, um, 365 00:15:48,918 --> 00:15:50,684 do you remember when you accused me 366 00:15:50,686 --> 00:15:52,553 of trying to sabotage our wedding? 367 00:15:52,555 --> 00:15:54,588 Uh-huh. 368 00:15:54,590 --> 00:15:57,524 I've been thinking about it, and you might be right. 369 00:15:59,061 --> 00:16:03,030 But the good news is that I'm pretty sure I know why. 370 00:16:03,032 --> 00:16:04,932 I'm listening. 371 00:16:05,735 --> 00:16:07,534 Penny, after all these years, 372 00:16:07,536 --> 00:16:10,304 I still feel like maybe I don't deserve you. 373 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,073 Okay, that is the lamest excuse 374 00:16:13,075 --> 00:16:15,609 you could've possibly come up with. 375 00:16:16,979 --> 00:16:18,312 But I get it. 376 00:16:18,314 --> 00:16:19,480 You do? 377 00:16:19,482 --> 00:16:20,948 Yeah. 378 00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:22,349 Sometimes I worry you're gonna wake up 379 00:16:22,351 --> 00:16:24,618 and leave me for someone more like you. 380 00:16:25,921 --> 00:16:28,789 I don't even understand why you're with someone like me. 381 00:16:28,791 --> 00:16:31,792 Why would I want to be with someone like me? 382 00:16:31,794 --> 00:16:33,393 You know what I mean. 383 00:16:33,395 --> 00:16:35,796 And, you know, maybe the way I've been reacting 384 00:16:35,798 --> 00:16:39,500 was me sabotaging this, too. 385 00:16:39,502 --> 00:16:42,503 (sighs) Well, how about we stop 386 00:16:42,505 --> 00:16:45,305 being so scared of losing each other 387 00:16:45,307 --> 00:16:46,840 and just be together? 388 00:16:46,842 --> 00:16:49,576 That sounds nice. 389 00:16:49,578 --> 00:16:50,577 Good. 390 00:16:50,579 --> 00:16:51,945 (both chuckle) 391 00:16:51,947 --> 00:16:53,514 Because... 392 00:16:53,516 --> 00:16:55,716 I've loved you since the moment we met, 393 00:16:55,718 --> 00:16:58,886 and I will keep loving you until the end of time. 394 00:16:58,888 --> 00:17:00,287 Oh. 395 00:17:00,289 --> 00:17:02,289 Oh, my God, that is the most beautiful thing 396 00:17:02,291 --> 00:17:04,658 anyone's ever said to me. Yeah? 397 00:17:04,660 --> 00:17:07,795 That's because you're beautiful, 398 00:17:07,797 --> 00:17:12,499 and your beauty fills my heart with love and song. 399 00:17:14,336 --> 00:17:16,637 It's getting kind of cheesy, Leonard. 400 00:17:16,639 --> 00:17:17,738 Huh? 401 00:17:17,740 --> 00:17:20,541 If you think that's cheesy, buckle up. 402 00:17:22,578 --> 00:17:24,444 Penny Hofstadter, 403 00:17:24,446 --> 00:17:26,713 will you please stay married to me? 404 00:17:27,817 --> 00:17:29,716 Oh, damn it, you topped it. 405 00:17:33,122 --> 00:17:35,556 Should we go to the bedroom and make this marriage official? 406 00:17:35,558 --> 00:17:37,424 Yes, please! Okay! 407 00:17:46,587 --> 00:17:49,370 Sheldon, I can't believe you got us a wedding gift. 408 00:17:49,470 --> 00:17:51,236 I don't know why you're so surprised. 409 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:54,573 I watch movies; I see what people do. 410 00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:56,375 What is this? 411 00:17:56,377 --> 00:17:58,377 Plane tickets and hotel reservations 412 00:17:58,379 --> 00:18:00,412 for a weekend away in San Francisco. 413 00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:01,713 Oh! Wow! 414 00:18:01,715 --> 00:18:03,382 That's so great! 415 00:18:03,384 --> 00:18:06,485 Yeah, there's Fisherman's Wharf and Alcatraz and cable cars. 416 00:18:06,487 --> 00:18:08,020 We're gonna have so much fun. 417 00:18:08,022 --> 00:18:09,187 (knocking on door) 418 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,692 We? 419 00:18:13,694 --> 00:18:14,760 Is there a problem? 420 00:18:14,762 --> 00:18:17,295 Oh, no, no! I just, I said, "Whee!" 421 00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:22,534 How dare you go on the Internet and say mean things about me 422 00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:26,104 and compare my genitalia to part of Czechoslovakia?! 423 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:29,408 You saw through that one, did you? 424 00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:30,976 I don't know what you were thinking, 425 00:18:30,978 --> 00:18:34,112 but take the video down now! 426 00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:37,115 She watched it. 427 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,784 I'm gonna get that girl back. 428 00:18:38,786 --> 00:18:42,154 AMY: I only watched it because you e-mailed it to me 429 00:18:42,156 --> 00:18:44,322 with the subject line: "This is gonna make you mad"! 430 00:18:47,220 --> 00:18:49,140 She was listening through the door. She wants me. 431 00:18:52,122 --> 00:18:58,622