1 00:00:00,541 --> 00:00:01,982 Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:02,186 --> 00:00:04,332 Cohabitation with my girlfriend? 3 00:00:04,333 --> 00:00:06,224 That's a great deal to process. 4 00:00:06,248 --> 00:00:06,768 Hmm? 5 00:00:06,769 --> 00:00:08,369 It's only for five weeks. 6 00:00:08,371 --> 00:00:09,670 Let me appeal to the scientist in you. 7 00:00:09,672 --> 00:00:11,705 Given the five-week end date, 8 00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:14,675 isn't it the perfect opportunity to consider this an experiment 9 00:00:14,677 --> 00:00:16,744 and collect data on our compatibility? 10 00:00:16,746 --> 00:00:19,847 Don't try luring me in with sexy talk. 11 00:00:19,849 --> 00:00:21,515 LEONARD: Okay. 12 00:00:21,517 --> 00:00:22,983 Star Trek: The Original Series. 13 00:00:22,985 --> 00:00:24,852 The Enterprise was on a five-year mission 14 00:00:24,854 --> 00:00:25,986 to explore new worlds. 15 00:00:25,988 --> 00:00:27,187 Think of this as your personal 16 00:00:27,189 --> 00:00:29,590 five-week mission to do the same. 17 00:00:29,592 --> 00:00:34,061 Oh, you want to lure me in with sexy talk, that's how you do it. 18 00:00:34,063 --> 00:00:35,696 Okay, why don't you guys stay across the hall 19 00:00:35,698 --> 00:00:37,431 and we will live here? 20 00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:38,866 (exhales) 21 00:00:38,868 --> 00:00:40,567 Very well. I'm on board. 22 00:00:40,569 --> 00:00:42,102 - Seriously? - Yes. 23 00:00:42,104 --> 00:00:43,637 I accept this five-week mission 24 00:00:43,639 --> 00:00:45,472 to share a living space with my girlfriend. 25 00:00:45,474 --> 00:00:46,974 Oh. This is so exciting. 26 00:00:46,976 --> 00:00:49,009 Well, now, don't be surprised if, like Star Trek, 27 00:00:49,011 --> 00:00:52,346 it's canceled in three. 28 00:00:53,849 --> 00:00:56,317 (dramatic music playing) Okay, I'm confused. 29 00:00:56,319 --> 00:00:57,785 Which one is Mr. Robot? 30 00:00:57,787 --> 00:00:59,219 I'll give you a hint. 31 00:00:59,221 --> 00:01:01,722 We're watching Daredevil. 32 00:01:01,724 --> 00:01:05,225 Will you two please inform Amy how much you enjoy 33 00:01:05,227 --> 00:01:07,561 adhering to a strict bathroom schedule? 34 00:01:07,563 --> 00:01:08,595 - Can't. - Won't. 35 00:01:08,597 --> 00:01:09,830 - Didn't. - Don't. 36 00:01:09,832 --> 00:01:11,098 AMY: I told you, 37 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:13,901 you can't regulate every aspect of our lives. 38 00:01:13,903 --> 00:01:17,671 I can if you'd just roll over and accept your fate. 39 00:01:17,673 --> 00:01:20,140 I'm sorry for bringing this over here. 40 00:01:20,142 --> 00:01:21,842 Believe me, we know what you're going through. 41 00:01:21,844 --> 00:01:24,445 And I-I think the most helpful thing we can tell you is 42 00:01:24,447 --> 00:01:25,666 no backsies. 43 00:01:25,690 --> 00:01:27,482 Mm-hmm. 44 00:01:27,483 --> 00:01:28,816 Sheldon, I understand 45 00:01:28,818 --> 00:01:30,250 that you like things a certain way 46 00:01:30,252 --> 00:01:31,919 and I'm willing to make some concessions, 47 00:01:31,921 --> 00:01:34,321 but you have to be open to compromise. 48 00:01:34,323 --> 00:01:35,823 She's right. That's reasonable. 49 00:01:35,825 --> 00:01:37,624 Oh, look who's in favor of compromise, 50 00:01:37,626 --> 00:01:41,028 the woman who married Leonard Hofstadter. 51 00:01:41,030 --> 00:01:43,263 Hey, she didn't compromise. 52 00:01:43,265 --> 00:01:45,933 She settled. There's a difference. 53 00:01:46,669 --> 00:01:49,203 Yeah. You tell him, babe. 54 00:01:49,205 --> 00:01:52,840 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 55 00:01:52,842 --> 00:01:56,176 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 56 00:01:56,178 --> 00:01:57,811 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 57 00:01:57,813 --> 00:02:00,347 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 58 00:02:00,349 --> 00:02:03,016 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 59 00:02:03,018 --> 00:02:05,686 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 60 00:02:05,688 --> 00:02:07,588 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 61 00:02:07,590 --> 00:02:08,255 ♪ Bang! ♪ 62 00:02:08,257 --> 00:02:12,257 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x05 ♪ The Hot Tub Contamination Original Air Da 63 00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:18,058 64 00:02:18,111 --> 00:02:19,644 What time do you and Bernadette head out? 65 00:02:19,662 --> 00:02:21,195 As soon as I get home. 66 00:02:21,197 --> 00:02:22,630 We're hoping to make it before dark. 67 00:02:22,632 --> 00:02:24,398 I've never been to Palm Springs. 68 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,733 Oh, you should go. 69 00:02:25,735 --> 00:02:28,002 It's terrific. I-I really thrive anywhere 70 00:02:28,004 --> 00:02:31,539 the women and the temperature are over 90. 71 00:02:32,442 --> 00:02:33,808 I don't know. 72 00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:35,409 If I want to watch old people sweat, 73 00:02:35,411 --> 00:02:38,612 I can just FaceTime my family in India. 74 00:02:39,582 --> 00:02:40,581 It's nice you 75 00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:42,516 and Bernadette are getting away. 76 00:02:42,518 --> 00:02:45,152 Well, she wants us to spend more time together 77 00:02:45,154 --> 00:02:46,520 before the baby comes. 78 00:02:46,522 --> 00:02:48,923 So then what are you doing here buying comic books? 79 00:02:48,925 --> 00:02:51,392 Well, he wants us to spend more time together 80 00:02:51,394 --> 00:02:53,461 before the baby comes. 81 00:02:55,631 --> 00:02:57,932 When you live with someone, there's gonna be conflict. 82 00:02:57,934 --> 00:03:00,768 You just have to keep communicating. 83 00:03:00,770 --> 00:03:02,369 I'm open to that. 84 00:03:02,371 --> 00:03:04,872 Okay. Well, for starters, 85 00:03:04,874 --> 00:03:07,408 there's nothing wrong with keeping our toothbrushes 86 00:03:07,410 --> 00:03:09,109 in the same holder. 87 00:03:09,946 --> 00:03:12,513 Sheldon, what do you say to that? 88 00:03:12,515 --> 00:03:14,482 I think we should see other people. 89 00:03:17,353 --> 00:03:18,284 What?! 90 00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:21,423 Well, as a male, I have an evolutionary drive 91 00:03:21,424 --> 00:03:23,190 to perpetuate my DNA. 92 00:03:23,192 --> 00:03:26,927 Restricting myself to a single partner is against my nature. 93 00:03:28,598 --> 00:03:30,297 We sleep together once a year! 94 00:03:30,299 --> 00:03:32,833 You want other partners? 95 00:03:32,835 --> 00:03:35,769 Don't blame me. Blame your pal, biology. 96 00:03:35,771 --> 00:03:38,305 He's the pervert pulling the strings here. 97 00:03:39,308 --> 00:03:41,853 You wanna see other people? Go see other people. 98 00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:42,290 (arguing indistinctly) 99 00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:45,613 I hope one of those people is a monkey, 'cause this is bananas. 100 00:03:46,892 --> 00:03:48,556 You can make jokes, but if this keeps up, 101 00:03:48,557 --> 00:03:49,763 he's gonna move back in here. 102 00:03:49,787 --> 00:03:51,552 All right. Well, let's just get them apart for a while 103 00:03:51,554 --> 00:03:52,566 so they can cool down. 104 00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:53,455 Good. 105 00:03:53,456 --> 00:03:55,022 Then before we reintroduce them, 106 00:03:55,024 --> 00:03:56,223 we'll give him one of her sweaters 107 00:03:56,225 --> 00:03:58,726 so he can get used to her scent again. 108 00:03:59,721 --> 00:04:02,329 So it's okay for you to joke around? 109 00:04:02,331 --> 00:04:03,931 No, that's actually what we did with him 110 00:04:03,933 --> 00:04:06,066 when Howard came back from space. 111 00:04:08,271 --> 00:04:10,604 Honey, how ya feeling? 112 00:04:10,606 --> 00:04:12,806 (Bernadette retching loudly) 113 00:04:14,677 --> 00:04:16,744 The book says at this stage of the pregnancy 114 00:04:16,746 --> 00:04:19,079 morning sickness should be going away. 115 00:04:19,081 --> 00:04:21,248 (retching) 116 00:04:23,052 --> 00:04:26,020 So that's good news, right? 117 00:04:26,022 --> 00:04:29,757 The only thing I hate more than you right now is that book! 118 00:04:29,759 --> 00:04:31,892 (toilet flushes) 119 00:04:33,829 --> 00:04:37,064 There she is! (chuckles) 120 00:04:37,066 --> 00:04:39,967 Who's ready for a hot, 121 00:04:39,969 --> 00:04:43,404 three-hour car ride to the desert? 122 00:04:43,406 --> 00:04:46,907 Next vomit is gonna be in your lap. 123 00:04:46,909 --> 00:04:49,577 I'm sorry. 124 00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:51,545 We don't have to go. 125 00:04:51,547 --> 00:04:53,747 But it's our last chance to take a vacation 126 00:04:53,749 --> 00:04:56,016 that's just the two of us. 127 00:04:56,018 --> 00:04:58,185 How 'bout we stay here? 128 00:04:58,187 --> 00:04:59,887 We don't even have to tell anyone. 129 00:04:59,889 --> 00:05:02,923 It'll be like a secret vacation at home. 130 00:05:02,925 --> 00:05:04,278 (chuckles) 131 00:05:04,302 --> 00:05:05,427 Keeping secrets from our friends-- 132 00:05:05,428 --> 00:05:07,528 that does sound kinda fun. 133 00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:10,831 Does it sound... sexy? 134 00:05:15,638 --> 00:05:19,073 You just heard me throwing up. 135 00:05:19,075 --> 00:05:22,409 You bet I did. 136 00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:31,051 You're so weird. 137 00:05:31,053 --> 00:05:33,087 You know what's weird? 138 00:05:37,393 --> 00:05:39,893 How turned on you are right now. 139 00:05:42,698 --> 00:05:44,431 You know, people are quick to accuse me 140 00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:45,833 of being difficult to live with, 141 00:05:45,835 --> 00:05:48,535 but the truth is, Amy is just as challenging. 142 00:05:48,537 --> 00:05:50,938 Just as challenging. 143 00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:52,106 Yes. 144 00:05:52,108 --> 00:05:54,908 As you. 145 00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:56,276 Yes. 146 00:05:56,278 --> 00:05:59,079 Just as challenging as you. 147 00:06:01,183 --> 00:06:02,449 When we're sleeping, 148 00:06:02,451 --> 00:06:03,884 she breathes on me. 149 00:06:03,886 --> 00:06:06,220 One night, it got so bad I almost grabbed Toto 150 00:06:06,222 --> 00:06:08,656 and headed for the storm cellar. 151 00:06:08,658 --> 00:06:10,658 Leonard breathes on me, too. 152 00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,226 It's not a big deal. 153 00:06:12,228 --> 00:06:14,061 She's always complaining about people at work. 154 00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:15,729 Well, so does Leonard. 155 00:06:15,731 --> 00:06:17,564 It's kind of annoying, but it's not the end of the world. 156 00:06:17,566 --> 00:06:19,333 Do you know that when I get out of the shower, 157 00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:22,936 she eyes me up and down like I'm a piece of meat? 158 00:06:22,938 --> 00:06:24,171 You know, so does Leonard. 159 00:06:24,173 --> 00:06:25,472 Can't I just get ready in the morning 160 00:06:25,474 --> 00:06:27,341 without him giving me his goofy thumbs-up? 161 00:06:27,343 --> 00:06:28,742 "Hey." (chuckles) 162 00:06:29,612 --> 00:06:31,445 I know. 163 00:06:31,447 --> 00:06:33,547 Sometimes I would just like to be appreciated for my mind. 164 00:06:33,549 --> 00:06:36,950 Agreed! Thank you! 165 00:06:39,388 --> 00:06:41,855 That feels great. 166 00:06:41,857 --> 00:06:43,190 Well, 167 00:06:43,192 --> 00:06:44,758 pulling a quarter out of your ear 168 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:47,695 isn't the only magic these hands can do. 169 00:06:47,697 --> 00:06:51,231 In fact, wh-what's this 170 00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:54,468 between your toes?! 171 00:06:54,470 --> 00:06:58,338 Can you please stop making money come out of me for two minutes? 172 00:07:01,744 --> 00:07:03,143 (door opens) 173 00:07:03,145 --> 00:07:04,445 (door shuts) 174 00:07:04,447 --> 00:07:05,746 (quietly): Was that the front door? 175 00:07:05,748 --> 00:07:07,748 (quietly): It sounded like it. 176 00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,451 (footsteps) Oh, my God. Someone's in the house. 177 00:07:10,453 --> 00:07:12,653 Lock the door, lock the door! 178 00:07:14,123 --> 00:07:16,356 - We should call the police. - Uh... 179 00:07:16,358 --> 00:07:18,125 I left my phone downstairs. 180 00:07:18,127 --> 00:07:19,660 Damn, so did I. 181 00:07:19,662 --> 00:07:21,528 Wait, I have my iPad! What are we gonna do, 182 00:07:21,530 --> 00:07:23,797 e-mail 911? 183 00:07:23,799 --> 00:07:25,466 That's not helpful! 184 00:07:25,468 --> 00:07:26,467 You know I rely 185 00:07:26,469 --> 00:07:28,335 on humor in times of stress. 186 00:07:28,337 --> 00:07:30,904 Let me know when you start, because that wasn't funny! 187 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,807 (whirring) 188 00:07:33,809 --> 00:07:34,942 (bubbling) 189 00:07:34,944 --> 00:07:36,844 Is that the hot tub? 190 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,180 Who would use our hot tub? 191 00:07:40,182 --> 00:07:41,448 (sighs) 192 00:07:41,450 --> 00:07:44,585 Well, the answer is both more and less disturbing 193 00:07:44,587 --> 00:07:46,353 than you think. 194 00:07:46,355 --> 00:07:47,454 Who is it? 195 00:07:47,456 --> 00:07:48,622 Stuart. 196 00:07:51,694 --> 00:07:54,428 He heard me talking about us going away. 197 00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:57,965 I guess he decided to invite himself over? 198 00:07:57,967 --> 00:07:59,833 Should we say something to him? 199 00:07:59,835 --> 00:08:01,935 Maybe. How 'bout, 200 00:08:01,937 --> 00:08:06,473 "Hey, you look like a boiled chicken breast"? 201 00:08:07,743 --> 00:08:10,144 I meant like, "What are you doing here?" 202 00:08:10,146 --> 00:08:13,514 Nah, that's not gonna hurt his feelings. 203 00:08:14,683 --> 00:08:17,017 Why is nothing easy with him? 204 00:08:17,019 --> 00:08:21,288 Look, here's the thing you need to understand about Sheldon: 205 00:08:21,290 --> 00:08:23,757 he's the worst. 206 00:08:23,759 --> 00:08:26,994 I prefer to think of it as high-maintenance. 207 00:08:26,996 --> 00:08:28,929 I prefer to think of myself as five-ten, 208 00:08:28,931 --> 00:08:31,198 but I still need to get all my pants hemmed. 209 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:34,902 I guess I should have known what I was getting myself into. 210 00:08:34,904 --> 00:08:36,370 Don't beat yourself up. 211 00:08:36,372 --> 00:08:38,372 You've never lived with anyone before. 212 00:08:38,374 --> 00:08:40,374 That's true. And you're starting out 213 00:08:40,376 --> 00:08:42,376 with Sheldon Cooper. 214 00:08:42,378 --> 00:08:45,045 That's like getting your first pet and having it be-- 215 00:08:45,047 --> 00:08:47,047 I don't know... 216 00:08:47,049 --> 00:08:50,317 What's a kind of pet that ruins your life? 217 00:08:50,319 --> 00:08:52,853 You're not making me feel better. 218 00:08:52,855 --> 00:08:55,622 Look, even when Penny and I started living together, 219 00:08:55,624 --> 00:08:57,357 there was a-a learning curve. 220 00:08:57,359 --> 00:08:59,993 But I promise you, it does get easier. 221 00:08:59,995 --> 00:09:01,929 He put a sign up in the bathroom that says, 222 00:09:01,931 --> 00:09:05,899 "Number of days without Amy's hair on the soap." 223 00:09:06,735 --> 00:09:08,268 Yeah. 224 00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:11,305 My record was six. 225 00:09:13,475 --> 00:09:15,475 Is it me, or is there something fun 226 00:09:15,477 --> 00:09:17,711 about watching him just float there? 227 00:09:20,549 --> 00:09:23,183 Maybe this is why people get fish tanks. 228 00:09:23,185 --> 00:09:25,285 (click) 229 00:09:25,287 --> 00:09:27,087 Who just turned the porch lights on? 230 00:09:27,089 --> 00:09:29,256 Is someone else here? 231 00:09:32,061 --> 00:09:34,628 Hmm. They must have left the tub on. 232 00:09:34,630 --> 00:09:36,463 Good thing I stopped by. 233 00:09:50,913 --> 00:09:53,580 Ah! 234 00:09:54,950 --> 00:09:57,718 (gasping) (screaming) 235 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,320 (screaming) 236 00:10:08,155 --> 00:10:10,456 What are you doing here?! 237 00:10:11,166 --> 00:10:13,299 What are you doing here?! 238 00:10:13,944 --> 00:10:17,312 Maybe Howard and Bernadette said I could be here! 239 00:10:17,314 --> 00:10:19,248 Did they? 240 00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,950 Answer the question! What are you doing here?! 241 00:10:23,053 --> 00:10:25,754 I had nothing else to do tonight. 242 00:10:25,756 --> 00:10:27,256 The last couple of months, 243 00:10:27,258 --> 00:10:29,625 I come here when I know they're not home. 244 00:10:29,627 --> 00:10:30,659 What?! 245 00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:32,194 They heard me in the bushes once, 246 00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:34,430 but they thought it was a raccoon. 247 00:10:35,733 --> 00:10:38,233 I told you raccoons don't say "Uh-oh." 248 00:10:41,005 --> 00:10:43,839 You know, one night, Leonard's nose whistled so loud, 249 00:10:43,841 --> 00:10:47,009 I swear it was like sleeping on a train track. 250 00:10:47,011 --> 00:10:48,800 Have you noticed it's always an A-flat? 251 00:10:48,824 --> 00:10:50,313 Is it? 252 00:10:50,314 --> 00:10:51,947 (whistles) Oh! 253 00:10:51,949 --> 00:10:54,349 It's like his sinuses are right here in the car. 254 00:10:54,351 --> 00:10:57,519 If we're just going to drive around aimlessly, 255 00:10:57,521 --> 00:10:59,755 the least you could do is take me for ice cream. 256 00:10:59,757 --> 00:11:01,423 Yeah, I'll take you for ice cream. 257 00:11:01,425 --> 00:11:04,059 Well, see, why can't Amy be that subservient? 258 00:11:04,061 --> 00:11:07,896 She has coitus one time, suddenly she's Gloria Steinem. 259 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:11,600 Anyway, I suppose an ice cream parlor will be a good place 260 00:11:11,602 --> 00:11:12,968 to meet other women. 261 00:11:12,970 --> 00:11:14,736 Oh, please, you're barely interested 262 00:11:14,738 --> 00:11:16,405 in a physical relationship with one person. 263 00:11:16,407 --> 00:11:20,275 Why would you want to confuse and disappoint others? 264 00:11:20,277 --> 00:11:24,112 Being with Amy has awoken the sexual creature within. 265 00:11:24,114 --> 00:11:27,449 When I see a pretty gal walking down the street, I think, 266 00:11:27,451 --> 00:11:30,452 "hubba hubba" like any other guy. 267 00:11:30,454 --> 00:11:33,555 You kiss your mother with that mouth? 268 00:11:33,557 --> 00:11:34,823 'Cause it's fine. 269 00:11:37,328 --> 00:11:39,528 Here you go. 270 00:11:39,530 --> 00:11:41,730 Thank you. 271 00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:44,700 Shall we toast? 272 00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:47,169 To Howard and Bernadette, 273 00:11:47,171 --> 00:11:50,372 and the house key they never asked me to return. 274 00:11:51,876 --> 00:11:53,909 You said you got it back. 275 00:11:53,911 --> 00:11:57,346 Well, clearly, I lied. 276 00:11:58,916 --> 00:12:00,282 So how's your apartment? 277 00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:02,284 Not great. The electricity's out. 278 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:03,952 So why don't you get it fixed? 279 00:12:03,954 --> 00:12:08,724 I called, and they're like, "Pay your bill!" 280 00:12:08,726 --> 00:12:11,860 Of you ever need somewhere to crash, there's always my place. 281 00:12:11,862 --> 00:12:14,029 Oh, no. I don't want to be an inconvenience. 282 00:12:14,031 --> 00:12:16,965 You've got all your lady friends, and... 283 00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:18,934 Actually, I'm single now. 284 00:12:18,936 --> 00:12:20,102 STUART: What?! 285 00:12:20,104 --> 00:12:21,370 When did that happen? 286 00:12:21,372 --> 00:12:23,272 It's okay. It's by choice. 287 00:12:23,274 --> 00:12:26,542 Well, their choice, and it's not okay. 288 00:12:26,544 --> 00:12:29,144 Oh. Sorry. I didn't know. 289 00:12:29,146 --> 00:12:32,881 Nobody does. I was embarrassed so I didn't say anything. 290 00:12:32,883 --> 00:12:34,783 Why wouldn't he tell us? 291 00:12:34,785 --> 00:12:36,785 Are we bad friends? 292 00:12:36,787 --> 00:12:39,187 He's in our hot tub drinking our wine. 293 00:12:39,189 --> 00:12:41,857 Yeah, he deserves to be alone. 294 00:12:43,227 --> 00:12:46,094 So you're back out on the dating scene now? 295 00:12:46,096 --> 00:12:48,063 Yeah, yeah, a little. 296 00:12:48,065 --> 00:12:49,932 Oh, that must be fun. How's that going? 297 00:12:49,934 --> 00:12:52,601 I'm in a hot tub with you, so pretty bad. 298 00:12:55,606 --> 00:12:58,307 Maybe I should just give in to his stupid bathroom schedule. 299 00:12:58,309 --> 00:12:59,942 No, don't do that. 300 00:12:59,944 --> 00:13:01,910 - But you did! - Exactly! 301 00:13:01,912 --> 00:13:04,546 Learn from my mistakes! 302 00:13:04,548 --> 00:13:07,516 No matter where I am at 7:18 a.m., 303 00:13:07,518 --> 00:13:10,152 there better be a toilet nearby. 304 00:13:12,756 --> 00:13:15,557 It's just so much easier to give him what he wants. 305 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:19,194 Oh, true, but think of how much you've accomplished. 306 00:13:19,196 --> 00:13:21,763 Who got him to stop Purelling his pocket change? 307 00:13:21,765 --> 00:13:23,765 Me. 308 00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:25,867 And who got him to put things other than gloves 309 00:13:25,869 --> 00:13:27,603 in the glove compartment? 310 00:13:27,605 --> 00:13:29,538 Me. 311 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:31,206 It was mittens. 312 00:13:31,208 --> 00:13:32,507 Mm. 313 00:13:32,509 --> 00:13:34,643 And who got him to try a turkey dog? 314 00:13:34,645 --> 00:13:35,844 That was actually Koothrappali, 315 00:13:35,846 --> 00:13:38,480 but I did let him spit it out in my hand. 316 00:13:38,482 --> 00:13:41,717 Look, how can you stop now? 317 00:13:41,719 --> 00:13:43,251 That's like walking out of Pinocchio 318 00:13:43,253 --> 00:13:45,821 right before he becomes a real boy. 319 00:13:45,823 --> 00:13:47,322 You know, you're right. 320 00:13:47,324 --> 00:13:48,924 I'm in this relationship, too. 321 00:13:48,926 --> 00:13:49,925 I need to stand up for myself. 322 00:13:49,926 --> 00:13:50,932 Of course you do. 323 00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:53,762 And if he doesn't like it, he can move back here. 324 00:13:53,764 --> 00:13:57,766 Oh. He can try. He'd just need a good locksmith. 325 00:14:00,537 --> 00:14:03,338 Well, who you gonna hit on? 326 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,307 The girl in front of us got strawberry. 327 00:14:05,309 --> 00:14:07,342 That's your favorite. 328 00:14:07,344 --> 00:14:11,146 No. No, if we both like it, I'll spend the rest of my life 329 00:14:11,148 --> 00:14:14,883 opening the freezer and going, "Aw, no strawberry." 330 00:14:14,885 --> 00:14:17,686 What about the girl behind the counter? 331 00:14:17,688 --> 00:14:20,088 Hmm? Well, she spends her whole day scooping. 332 00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:23,959 One arm's probably bigger than the other. 333 00:14:23,961 --> 00:14:27,396 Is it possible you might not actually want to meet someone? 334 00:14:28,999 --> 00:14:31,533 You are truly wise. 335 00:14:31,535 --> 00:14:32,314 Thank you. 336 00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:33,636 I'd say 337 00:14:33,637 --> 00:14:34,659 wise beyond your years, but you're getting up there. 338 00:14:34,683 --> 00:14:35,909 All right. 339 00:14:37,107 --> 00:14:40,542 Come on. What is really going on with you? 340 00:14:42,413 --> 00:14:45,213 Penny, I am going to tell you a story 341 00:14:45,215 --> 00:14:46,481 that I've never told anyone. 342 00:14:46,483 --> 00:14:48,050 All right. 343 00:14:48,052 --> 00:14:50,385 I was 13 years old, 344 00:14:50,387 --> 00:14:53,388 and on spring break from college. 345 00:14:57,361 --> 00:14:59,327 Not relating. Go on. 346 00:14:59,329 --> 00:15:03,732 I came home early because they ran out of math to teach me. 347 00:15:03,734 --> 00:15:05,767 Oh, now I'm with ya. Okay. 348 00:15:05,769 --> 00:15:07,669 My mother was at bible study. 349 00:15:07,671 --> 00:15:10,305 I walked in the house expecting to find it empty, 350 00:15:10,307 --> 00:15:14,142 and I heard a sound coming from my parents' bedroom. 351 00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:15,977 When I opened the door, 352 00:15:15,979 --> 00:15:19,548 I saw my father having relations with another woman. 353 00:15:19,550 --> 00:15:22,651 Oh, that's awful! I know. 354 00:15:22,653 --> 00:15:24,619 It's also why I never open a door 355 00:15:24,621 --> 00:15:26,288 without knocking three times. 356 00:15:26,290 --> 00:15:28,223 I mean, the first one's traditional, 357 00:15:28,225 --> 00:15:31,560 but two and three are for people to get their pants on. 358 00:15:31,562 --> 00:15:34,896 Well, what happened with your dad? 359 00:15:34,898 --> 00:15:37,999 We locked eyes, I ran to my room, 360 00:15:38,001 --> 00:15:40,702 and we never, ever spoke of it. 361 00:15:40,704 --> 00:15:42,604 You poor thing. 362 00:15:42,606 --> 00:15:45,107 Since Amy and I have been living together, 363 00:15:45,109 --> 00:15:47,642 we've been bickering like my parents used to. 364 00:15:47,644 --> 00:15:51,012 And you're afraid you're gonna do something like your dad did? 365 00:15:51,014 --> 00:15:53,648 Yes. I need to prepare her now 366 00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:55,576 to save her from pain down the road. 367 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,819 Down the road? 368 00:15:56,820 --> 00:15:59,588 Sheldon, she wanted to share a toothbrush holder with you, 369 00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:03,258 and now you're at an ice cream parlor trying to pick up women! 370 00:16:05,028 --> 00:16:07,996 Well, anything can sound silly when you put it in that tone. 371 00:16:07,998 --> 00:16:10,031 Honey, instead of worrying about pain 372 00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:12,134 you might cause in the future, how about trying 373 00:16:12,136 --> 00:16:14,302 to fix the pain you're causing her right now? 374 00:16:14,304 --> 00:16:16,071 (sighs) 375 00:16:16,073 --> 00:16:18,673 I'm sure you're right. 376 00:16:18,675 --> 00:16:21,610 I suppose I should apologize to you, as well. 377 00:16:21,612 --> 00:16:23,245 Okay. 378 00:16:23,247 --> 00:16:26,214 That must have hurt watching me look for other women 379 00:16:26,216 --> 00:16:29,117 without ever even considering you. 380 00:16:33,423 --> 00:16:36,324 Please understand that I think of you 381 00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:39,628 as more of a nanny. 382 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:43,832 Just finish your ice cream so I can get you home to bed. 383 00:16:48,906 --> 00:16:51,039 I wonder if this is what it feels like 384 00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:53,542 to be Bernadette's baby. 385 00:16:55,179 --> 00:16:58,213 I don't know. Bernadette's baby doesn't have a Jacuzzi jet 386 00:16:58,215 --> 00:17:00,482 hitting just the right spot. 387 00:17:02,452 --> 00:17:06,655 Those jets are for my secret spot, not his! 388 00:17:06,657 --> 00:17:08,957 What do you do in there?! 389 00:17:08,959 --> 00:17:12,994 It's called relaxing, and that's all you need to know. 390 00:17:15,432 --> 00:17:17,699 Well, it's getting late. 391 00:17:17,701 --> 00:17:19,968 Maybe we should head home. 392 00:17:19,970 --> 00:17:22,704 Yeah, you're probably right. 393 00:17:22,706 --> 00:17:24,172 (sighs) 394 00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:25,907 You coming? 395 00:17:25,909 --> 00:17:27,709 Yeah, just give me a minute. 396 00:17:27,711 --> 00:17:28,944 Why? 397 00:17:28,946 --> 00:17:32,581 Well, you know how you're wearing a bathing suit? 398 00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:34,516 Yeah? 399 00:17:34,518 --> 00:17:37,586 I kind of went the other way. 400 00:17:38,755 --> 00:17:41,323 You jackasses just bought yourselves a hot tub! 401 00:17:53,972 --> 00:17:55,705 What do you think? 402 00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:56,940 It's a nice enough spot. 403 00:17:56,942 --> 00:17:59,175 You know, if I'm going to start standing up for myself, 404 00:17:59,177 --> 00:18:00,103 this is exactly the kind of thing... 405 00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:00,875 We're back! 406 00:18:00,899 --> 00:18:02,521 Oh, hi! Hi! 407 00:18:04,683 --> 00:18:06,188 Hello. 408 00:18:06,189 --> 00:18:07,355 How you guys doing? 409 00:18:07,357 --> 00:18:08,523 We're doing good. I think 410 00:18:08,525 --> 00:18:10,325 Sheldon has something he would like to say to Amy. 411 00:18:10,327 --> 00:18:12,493 (sighs) 412 00:18:14,965 --> 00:18:19,200 I wanted to apologize for my behavior today. It... 413 00:18:23,139 --> 00:18:26,040 (clears his throat) 414 00:18:26,042 --> 00:18:29,544 It was unnecessary. 415 00:18:29,546 --> 00:18:32,847 This is warm. 416 00:18:34,484 --> 00:18:39,721 Oh, and also, I am willing to forego the bathroom schedule. 417 00:18:39,723 --> 00:18:41,990 Oh. Really? 418 00:18:41,992 --> 00:18:44,192 Why does she get that?! We never got that! 419 00:18:44,194 --> 00:18:45,893 Do you want him back? 420 00:18:45,895 --> 00:18:47,996 I'm very happy for you. 421 00:18:48,732 --> 00:18:51,499 Amy, you should know 422 00:18:51,501 --> 00:18:53,868 I was never really interested in seeing other women. 423 00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:57,572 And to prove how serious I am about us, 424 00:18:57,574 --> 00:19:01,309 I'm willing to take our relationship to the next level. 425 00:19:02,612 --> 00:19:04,812 Amy Farrah Fowler, 426 00:19:04,814 --> 00:19:07,949 will you share this toothbrush holder with me? 427 00:19:10,687 --> 00:19:12,854 I would love to. 428 00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:19,027 LEONARD: Did we really 429 00:19:19,029 --> 00:19:21,729 need to be here for this? 430 00:19:21,731 --> 00:19:24,899 Call me crazy, but I found it moving. 431 00:19:28,473 --> 00:19:35,273