1
00:00:02,735 --> 00:00:04,335
(birds singing,
insects trilling)
2
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,837
SHELDON:
It's nice to get back to nature.
3
00:00:07,079 --> 00:00:08,812
Why don't I do this more often?
4
00:00:12,685 --> 00:00:15,486
What a beautiful forest.
5
00:00:15,488 --> 00:00:17,254
(gasps delightedly)
6
00:00:17,256 --> 00:00:20,224
Hello, little butterfly.
7
00:00:21,381 --> 00:00:22,780
What's your Na...
8
00:00:22,782 --> 00:00:24,849
(screams)
9
00:00:24,851 --> 00:00:26,450
Whatcha doing?
10
00:00:26,452 --> 00:00:29,186
I was enjoying
some virtual reality,
11
00:00:29,188 --> 00:00:32,189
until you ruined it
with your actual face.
12
00:00:32,191 --> 00:00:34,492
What am I smelling?
13
00:00:34,494 --> 00:00:35,793
Oh, it's car
air freshener.
14
00:00:35,795 --> 00:00:38,763
I was simulating
the smell of the forest.
15
00:00:38,765 --> 00:00:40,731
That's not what
the forest smells like.
16
00:00:40,733 --> 00:00:42,900
Well, how would I know?
17
00:00:45,305 --> 00:00:46,404
Why are you pretending
to be outdoors?
18
00:00:46,406 --> 00:00:47,405
You hate it.
19
00:00:47,407 --> 00:00:48,572
Hmm? Oh.
20
00:00:48,574 --> 00:00:50,374
Amy showed me a compelling study
21
00:00:50,376 --> 00:00:52,276
that demonstrated
the cognitive benefit
22
00:00:52,278 --> 00:00:53,844
of spending time
in the wilderness.
23
00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,246
Buddy, I am ready
to drive you
24
00:00:55,248 --> 00:00:56,881
into the wilderness
any time you want
25
00:00:56,883 --> 00:00:58,649
and leave you there.
26
00:00:58,651 --> 00:01:01,752
Well, make your jokes,
but some of the participants
27
00:01:01,754 --> 00:01:04,655
who spent four days in the woods
away from all technology
28
00:01:04,657 --> 00:01:08,092
reported a 50% gain in reasoning
skills upon their return.
29
00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:11,963
Okay, if that's true, why aren't
there more genius squirrels?
30
00:01:14,934 --> 00:01:17,368
You may need this
more than I do.
31
00:01:18,571 --> 00:01:22,206
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
32
00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:25,543
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
33
00:01:25,545 --> 00:01:27,178
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
34
00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:29,714
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
35
00:01:29,716 --> 00:01:32,383
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
36
00:01:32,385 --> 00:01:35,052
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
37
00:01:35,054 --> 00:01:36,954
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
38
00:01:36,956 --> 00:01:38,923
♪ Bang! ♪
39
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:42,924
♪ The Big Bang Theory 9x20 ♪
The Big Bear Precipitation
Original Air Date on April 7,
40
00:01:42,925 --> 00:01:46,925
41
00:01:51,853 --> 00:01:53,486
Here's your tea.
42
00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,788
Oh!
43
00:01:55,790 --> 00:01:59,625
Do not sneak up on a guy
when he's sitting on a log.
44
00:01:59,627 --> 00:02:02,194
You know, if you really
want to be in nature,
45
00:02:02,196 --> 00:02:03,829
why don't we rent a cabin?
46
00:02:03,831 --> 00:02:05,765
Look, I'm sorry,
when did you even get here? I...
47
00:02:07,035 --> 00:02:08,801
You know,
there's a cabin in Big Bear
48
00:02:08,803 --> 00:02:10,669
that a doctor I work with
keeps offering me.
49
00:02:10,671 --> 00:02:11,971
Because he's
hitting on you?
50
00:02:11,973 --> 00:02:12,972
She.
51
00:02:12,974 --> 00:02:14,507
Oh, good.
52
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,108
But I could get her.
53
00:02:17,812 --> 00:02:19,512
We could all go
for the weekend.
54
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:20,413
It'll be fun.
55
00:02:20,415 --> 00:02:21,847
Yeah... (clears throat)
Excuse me.
56
00:02:26,687 --> 00:02:28,521
Here, look up "fun,"
get back to me.
57
00:02:30,458 --> 00:02:32,291
You and I could still go
and have a nice weekend.
58
00:02:32,293 --> 00:02:33,325
Sure.
59
00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,227
Come on, Sheldon,
let's go with them.
60
00:02:35,229 --> 00:02:36,829
I hardly think so.
61
00:02:36,831 --> 00:02:38,864
You be sure and say hello
62
00:02:38,866 --> 00:02:41,901
to all the mosquitoes,
bees, bears, snakes,
63
00:02:41,903 --> 00:02:43,335
possums, poison oak,
64
00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:47,206
oh, and last, but not least,
teenagers with guitars.
65
00:02:49,110 --> 00:02:51,243
I'll see
if it's available.
66
00:02:51,245 --> 00:02:53,813
You know,
if that study's real,
67
00:02:53,815 --> 00:02:55,448
Leonard might come back
smarter than you.
68
00:02:55,450 --> 00:02:58,617
Are you trying to manipulate me?
Yes.
69
00:02:58,619 --> 00:02:59,785
Well done, it worked,
we're going.
70
00:02:59,787 --> 00:03:01,220
Yay!
71
00:03:02,290 --> 00:03:04,356
(bags rustling)
BERNADETTE: Come on, Raj,
72
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,025
give me a bag.
73
00:03:06,027 --> 00:03:07,126
No, no, you're pregnant.
74
00:03:07,128 --> 00:03:08,794
The only thing you carry
75
00:03:08,796 --> 00:03:11,931
is our hope
for a better tomorrow.
76
00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:15,067
Hey, where you been?
77
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,969
Uh, Raj took me
to the baby doctor
78
00:03:16,971 --> 00:03:18,337
and then we swung by
the grocery store.
79
00:03:18,339 --> 00:03:19,805
(tires screeching on game)
Did you get graham crackers?
80
00:03:19,807 --> 00:03:24,076
I mean, are... what...
is the baby okay?
81
00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:25,978
Yes and yes.
82
00:03:25,980 --> 00:03:27,246
(sighs)
83
00:03:27,248 --> 00:03:29,248
I didn't know you needed help
running errands today.
84
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,883
I didn't,
but Raj volunteered.
85
00:03:30,885 --> 00:03:32,017
Really?
86
00:03:32,019 --> 00:03:33,219
Yeah, ever since you told him
I was pregnant,
87
00:03:33,221 --> 00:03:34,854
he's really been making
a fuss over me.
88
00:03:34,856 --> 00:03:37,323
Oh. Well, I guess
that's kind of sweet.
89
00:03:37,325 --> 00:03:41,227
Bernie, I just
forwarded you a list
90
00:03:41,229 --> 00:03:44,296
of the top five lactation
consultants in Los Angeles.
91
00:03:44,298 --> 00:03:45,664
I know my favorite,
92
00:03:45,666 --> 00:03:48,367
but I'd love to hear
what you think.
93
00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:51,937
And it just got weird.
94
00:03:55,309 --> 00:03:56,809
Hey. Amy's downstairs.
95
00:03:56,811 --> 00:03:58,644
Okay, one sec.
96
00:03:58,646 --> 00:04:01,280
Uh, what-what you got
goin' on here?
97
00:04:02,683 --> 00:04:04,250
I bought a baseball cap.
98
00:04:04,252 --> 00:04:05,885
I can see that.
99
00:04:05,887 --> 00:04:07,052
What team did you get?
100
00:04:07,054 --> 00:04:10,289
Uh, Hufflepuff,
from Harry Potter.
101
00:04:11,792 --> 00:04:13,292
Well, we'll be in the woods.
102
00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,595
I'm ready to go.
103
00:04:19,267 --> 00:04:21,100
Anything you'd like
to say to him?
104
00:04:21,102 --> 00:04:22,501
Nice hat, Sheldon.
105
00:04:22,503 --> 00:04:25,004
Thanks.
106
00:04:25,006 --> 00:04:26,939
Why are you
so mean to me?
107
00:04:29,410 --> 00:04:31,610
(woman screaming in pain)
108
00:04:37,251 --> 00:04:39,852
(screaming continues)
109
00:04:39,854 --> 00:04:42,121
What the hell are you watching?
110
00:04:42,123 --> 00:04:45,791
Raj found all these
childbirth videos online.
111
00:04:45,793 --> 00:04:48,627
This one is of a woman
giving birth in a river.
112
00:04:48,629 --> 00:04:51,964
Okay, that is
the least Jewish thing
113
00:04:51,966 --> 00:04:54,266
I've ever seen in my life.
114
00:04:57,171 --> 00:04:59,838
You feel like Raj is getting
a little carried away
115
00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,307
with all the baby stuff?
116
00:05:01,309 --> 00:05:02,474
I don't think so.
117
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:04,176
He just wants to be
part of the experience.
118
00:05:04,178 --> 00:05:06,445
All right, if you say so.
119
00:05:06,447 --> 00:05:07,546
What's in the box?
120
00:05:07,548 --> 00:05:08,948
Oh, it's an ultrasonic
microphone
121
00:05:08,950 --> 00:05:10,316
so we can hear
the baby's heartbeat.
122
00:05:10,318 --> 00:05:12,117
Oh.
123
00:05:12,119 --> 00:05:13,118
That's cool.
124
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,119
Can we try it?
125
00:05:14,121 --> 00:05:15,721
Actually, Raj ordered it.
126
00:05:15,723 --> 00:05:18,524
He made me promise
to wait till he was here.
127
00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:20,192
So he can be...
128
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:22,161
part of the experience?
129
00:05:22,163 --> 00:05:23,362
Yeah.
130
00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:26,932
I'm surprised he let us conceive
without him.
131
00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:29,835
It's a sore spot--
don't bring it up.
132
00:05:32,907 --> 00:05:34,573
It's so cute
and rustic up here.
133
00:05:34,575 --> 00:05:35,808
I know.
134
00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:37,843
Did you see they still have
a video rental place?
135
00:05:37,845 --> 00:05:40,045
it's like Colonial Williamsburg.
136
00:05:40,047 --> 00:05:42,281
Well...
137
00:05:42,283 --> 00:05:44,984
cell service is down
to one bar,
138
00:05:44,986 --> 00:05:47,219
so if anyone needs
medical attention
139
00:05:47,221 --> 00:05:49,655
or to tell a stranger their
political views are stupid,
140
00:05:49,657 --> 00:05:50,990
now's the time.
141
00:05:51,892 --> 00:05:53,892
Have you ever been
off the grid before?
142
00:05:53,894 --> 00:05:55,561
Once.
143
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:57,062
The battery ran out on my phone.
144
00:05:57,064 --> 00:05:59,498
I had to wait
for my iPad to turn on.
145
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,935
I was afraid
he was gonna eat me.
146
00:06:05,206 --> 00:06:07,072
Raj just pulled up.
147
00:06:07,074 --> 00:06:09,842
I'm gonna say something to him.
148
00:06:09,844 --> 00:06:11,877
Leave it alone.
He means well.
149
00:06:11,879 --> 00:06:14,780
So you don't think he needs
to rein it in a little?
150
00:06:14,782 --> 00:06:16,849
No, not really.
151
00:06:16,851 --> 00:06:18,417
And you're not concerned
152
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:21,287
he's acting like somehow
this is his kid, too?
153
00:06:21,289 --> 00:06:23,422
He's just trying
to be supportive.
154
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,190
Just supportive.
155
00:06:25,192 --> 00:06:27,192
Not over-the-top in any way?
156
00:06:27,194 --> 00:06:29,194
No.
157
00:06:29,196 --> 00:06:30,963
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Hello!
158
00:06:36,203 --> 00:06:37,636
You saw him carrying that.
159
00:06:37,638 --> 00:06:40,906
Astronauts saw him
carrying that.
160
00:06:47,381 --> 00:06:48,347
(gasps)
161
00:06:48,349 --> 00:06:49,915
This place is great!
162
00:06:49,917 --> 00:06:52,484
So nice of that doctor
to just let you use it.
163
00:06:52,486 --> 00:06:54,920
Well, she is taking me
to an Indigo Girls concert,
164
00:06:54,922 --> 00:06:56,655
so hold that thought.
165
00:06:58,626 --> 00:06:59,825
Okay.
166
00:06:59,827 --> 00:07:01,327
Well,
167
00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:03,462
should we check
each other for ticks?
168
00:07:05,833 --> 00:07:09,501
Sheldon, all we did
was walk in from the car.
169
00:07:09,503 --> 00:07:11,136
Oh. Well,
suit yourself.
170
00:07:11,138 --> 00:07:13,339
Who wants to check me?
171
00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:18,510
On the other hand, safety first.
172
00:07:27,514 --> 00:07:29,381
(rain falling loudly)
173
00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:31,049
Wow, it's really
coming down.
174
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,517
This sucks.
175
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:33,818
And there goes our hike.
176
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,621
Oh, not our hike!
177
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,023
Now we have
178
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:40,458
to stay safe and warm.
179
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,027
You know, we could still go.
180
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,461
A little rain
isn't gonna kill us.
181
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,197
Have you been outside
in the rain with Sheldon?
182
00:07:45,199 --> 00:07:47,232
No.
You'll wish it would kill you.
183
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,036
So what do we do now?
184
00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:52,304
They have
some board games.
185
00:07:52,306 --> 00:07:54,906
Eh, most of the Jenga
pieces are missing
186
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,942
and the Scrabble
only has seven tiles,
187
00:07:56,944 --> 00:07:59,444
so unless you want to build
an unimpressive structure
188
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:02,447
with the word "SHNERPF"
next to it, move on.
189
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,216
Hey, let's light a fire.
190
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:06,351
Ooh, that sounds cozy.
191
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:07,919
I don't think
I've lit a real fire before.
192
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,754
Ah, it's basic thermodynamics.
193
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,156
I'm sure we can figure that out.
194
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:14,459
I could stack the logs conically
to facilitate airflow.
195
00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:17,062
That would maximize oxygen
for optimal combustion.
196
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:18,530
(fire whooshes)
Right. So all we need is to...
197
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,098
Got it.
198
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,369
A scientist made that.
199
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:30,308
Look, Raj, you're my
best friend in the world
200
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:35,013
and I really appreciate
your enthusiasm about the baby.
201
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,849
Please, my pleasure.
202
00:08:39,253 --> 00:08:40,452
And, of course,
Howie and I
203
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:42,053
both want you to be
a part of all this.
204
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:45,123
But we have to set
some boundaries.
205
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,025
I don't understand.
206
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:50,895
The three of us
aren't having this baby.
207
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:53,598
Just the two of us.
208
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,101
Oh...
209
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,304
Okay. Yeah, I get it.
210
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,706
I'll back off.
211
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,441
Thanks for understanding.
212
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,476
Of course.
213
00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:07,779
I'll give you guys some space.
214
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,383
Let me just get this
out of your way.
215
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:20,825
You need some help?
216
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,395
No, I got it.
217
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,101
(clattering)
218
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:30,969
(grunts)
219
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,003
Raj... Raj, wait.
220
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,239
Please, Bernadette.
221
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:37,242
Let me leave with my dignity.
222
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:45,950
(thumps)
223
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,089
Hey, you guys want
to play a drinking game?
224
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,024
Oh, well now, well now,
we'll never win.
225
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,727
You always play
the drinking game.
226
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:59,264
Not the drinking game,
a drinking game.
227
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,633
To be fair, good at both.
228
00:10:01,635 --> 00:10:03,134
What's the game?
229
00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:04,502
All right, it's called
Never Have I Ever.
230
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:05,704
The rules are simple.
231
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,038
Someone says something
they've never done,
232
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,074
but if you have done it,
you take a drink.
233
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:10,241
I've never played that before.
234
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:11,276
(stammers)
Hey, now, wait.
235
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:12,277
Have we started?
Do I drink?
236
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,813
What is happening?
Okay.
237
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,514
Calm down.
I'll go first.
238
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,016
All right, let's see.
239
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:20,318
Never have I ever...
240
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,687
She's trying
to think of something
241
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:23,688
she's never done before.
242
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,256
This could take a while.
243
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,459
Very funny.
244
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:29,494
Okay, never have I ever...
245
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:31,830
Yeah, you know what?
246
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,031
Let's just circle back.
247
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,766
Okay, I'll go.
248
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,068
Never have I ever been arrested.
249
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:38,503
So I drink.
250
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,338
No, it's only
if you've done it.
251
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,241
Got it.
252
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,978
I can't believe
you've been arrested.
253
00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,014
I can't believe Penny hasn't.
254
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,385
Sheldon, what did you do?
255
00:10:53,387 --> 00:10:54,919
Well, I'm not proud of it,
256
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:57,422
but... I jaywalked.
257
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:59,357
Oh, no, it's like
a horror movie.
258
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:02,427
We're trapped in a cabin
with a maniac.
259
00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:05,296
I'm surprised
you would do that.
260
00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:06,931
No, I crossed
in the middle of the street.
261
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,299
And normally, I wouldn't,
262
00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:11,269
but I saw an aggressive-looking
Girl Scout,
263
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,139
and it was the heart
of cookie season.
264
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,574
Anyway, there was
a police officer,
265
00:11:16,576 --> 00:11:18,443
and he witnessed
the whole thing.
266
00:11:18,445 --> 00:11:20,145
What-- he arrested you for that?
267
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:21,513
(stammers)
No, he didn't do anything.
268
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,881
So I said,
"You just saw me jaywalk.
269
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,048
Why aren't you
doing your job?"
270
00:11:24,050 --> 00:11:25,250
You know?
271
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:28,987
"M-Maybe I should arrest you
272
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,523
for-for impersonating
a police officer."
273
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,958
And then you got arrested.
274
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,460
Oh, and how.
275
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:41,132
I feel like I just made
a horrible mistake.
276
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,467
Yeah.
277
00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:43,635
But on the other hand,
278
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:45,103
I didn't kick him
out of our lives.
279
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:47,806
I just asked him
to back off a little.
280
00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,307
Yeah.
281
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,910
What? Are you gonna cry?
282
00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:54,179
(crying):
Yeah!
283
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:58,483
Is it baby hormones
or actually sad?
284
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:01,953
I can't tell anymore!
285
00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,823
I'll go get him.
286
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:08,393
And bring back the bear!
287
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,797
This game's dangerous.
288
00:12:12,799 --> 00:12:14,132
I could get you in trouble.
289
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:14,999
How?
290
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:16,468
Well, never have I ever
291
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:19,571
used Sheldon's toothbrush
to clean the sink.
292
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,712
Fine, is that
how you want to play this?
293
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,014
All right,
never have I ever come up
294
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,650
with a nickname
for my own genitals.
295
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:37,222
Never should've told you
about Alvin and the Chipmunks.
296
00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:39,991
AMY:
Okay.
297
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,125
My turn.
298
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,127
Um...
299
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:45,430
Never have I ever
300
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:48,900
completely rocked
my girlfriend's world in bed.
301
00:12:48,902 --> 00:12:51,202
(stammers)
Amy...
302
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:53,004
You know the rules.
303
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:55,106
Drink.
304
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,608
(clears throat)
305
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:57,876
Yeah, go ahead.
306
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,313
That's right.
307
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:04,649
All right, my turn.
308
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:05,650
Mm...
309
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,285
Oh, I know.
310
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:11,022
Never have I ever
kept a secret bank account,
311
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:14,325
because I think
my wife can't handle money.
312
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,197
Did I win?
313
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,699
I feel like I won.
314
00:13:21,701 --> 00:13:23,234
I can't believe this.
315
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,970
You realize I make
more money than you?
316
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,672
I don't, I know,
but this isn't a big deal.
317
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:29,974
It's just a little savings
I put aside.
318
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:31,042
We're married.
319
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,377
We're supposed
to share everything.
320
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:35,413
What-- you mean, like,
your massive credit card debt?
321
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,219
(door slams)
322
00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:42,220
I'm calling it.
323
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,922
I won.
324
00:13:46,393 --> 00:13:48,459
I appreciate the apology,
325
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,261
but it's really not necessary.
326
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,796
I overstepped my bounds.
327
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,231
No, Raj, you've been great.
328
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:55,500
I just, I need to start
doing my part around here.
329
00:13:55,502 --> 00:13:56,968
BERNADETTE:
I hear that.
330
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,705
Well, if that's the case,
331
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:02,407
is there anything
I can do to help?
332
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:04,042
Well, not right now.
333
00:14:04,044 --> 00:14:05,777
But we could try out
that microphone you got us,
334
00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,445
and listen to
the baby's heartbeat.
335
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:08,713
Really?
336
00:14:08,715 --> 00:14:10,548
It's okay if I listen with you?!
337
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:11,816
Of course.
338
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:15,820
Can I squirt the ultrasound
jelly on your stomach?
339
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,022
Hey, look at that.
340
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,592
It's weird again.
341
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,295
(door opens)
342
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,897
Okay, you have
343
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:26,998
every right to be mad.
344
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,099
And what you said is true.
345
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,200
You do make more money than me.
346
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,635
So I had no right
to do what I did.
347
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,437
And I'm so sorry.
348
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,038
I hope you can forgive me.
349
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:36,240
How long have you had
this secret account?
350
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,676
A couple years,
but I just put a few bucks aside
351
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,878
every month for emergencies.
352
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,347
Well, how much you got in there?
353
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,749
$6,427.
354
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:48,820
$47 once my nana's
birthday check gets here.
355
00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:50,588
My God, Leonard,
do you know
356
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,123
what I could do
with that kind of money?
357
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,826
No, I do,
and that's why I hid it.
358
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,396
What good is it
if you don't use it?
359
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,999
Uh, uh, you have shoes
you love, but never wear.
360
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,567
I have money I love,
361
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,635
but never spend.
362
00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,470
We're kind of
a cute couple that way.
363
00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:06,571
Again,
364
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,605
I'm sorry.
365
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,140
I shouldn't have
kept it a secret.
366
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:12,443
Well, I have a secret
I've been keeping from you, too.
367
00:15:12,445 --> 00:15:14,045
Is it a secret bank account?
368
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,314
Because that would be awesome.
369
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,316
I hate my job.
370
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,717
Really?
371
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:20,752
Why?
372
00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:22,053
Because I don't feel good
373
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,655
flirting with doctors for sales.
374
00:15:23,657 --> 00:15:24,722
I mean, I know
I make a lot of money.
375
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:26,824
But I haven't been happy
for a while.
376
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,793
Why didn't you tell me?
377
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,328
Because I know
how important it is to you
378
00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:31,896
that I'm having some success.
379
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,264
That's not true.
380
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,666
Okay, really?
So you'd be fine if I went
381
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:36,701
back to acting
and waiting tables again?
382
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,569
If that's what you
want to do, yes.
383
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:40,371
Well, it's not
what I want to do.
384
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,774
Oh, yes.
385
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,142
Doesn't matter what I want.
386
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:46,077
Look, this job is
gonna get me out of debt.
387
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,546
So I'm gonna do the grown-up
thing and see it through.
388
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,916
Well, that is
the grown-up thing.
389
00:15:51,918 --> 00:15:53,384
I guess.
390
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,720
I love you.
391
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:58,322
I love you, too.
392
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,425
You know,
393
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:03,327
never have I ever made love
394
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:06,364
in the forest
while it was raining.
395
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:09,000
Well, guess I gotta drink.
396
00:16:13,239 --> 00:16:16,841
All right, here we go.
397
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,043
(microphone droning)
398
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,680
I'm not hearing anything.
399
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,282
Well, give me a second.
400
00:16:24,284 --> 00:16:26,651
Are you sure you can do this?
401
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,086
Hey, who found
four dollars and change
402
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:31,389
on the beach
with his metal detector?
403
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:34,559
I buried it there,
so we could go home.
404
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:39,764
(heartbeat echoing, gasps)
405
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:41,966
Wait, that's it.
406
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,434
Wow.
407
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,372
Isn't that the best?
408
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,242
You guys made a person.
409
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,916
We did.
410
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,919
And I like to think
I helped.
411
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,625
(whispering):
You didn't.
412
00:17:16,111 --> 00:17:18,945
SHELDON:
Oh, let me see.
413
00:17:18,947 --> 00:17:21,715
Oh, um, never have I ever
414
00:17:21,717 --> 00:17:25,218
drunk milk past
its expiration date.
415
00:17:28,190 --> 00:17:31,124
Never have I ever
416
00:17:31,126 --> 00:17:34,227
cancelled
a dentist appointment.
417
00:17:37,799 --> 00:17:39,866
Oh, uh, never have I ever
418
00:17:39,868 --> 00:17:43,036
put my foot in the ocean.
419
00:17:47,142 --> 00:17:48,975
Never have I ever
420
00:17:48,977 --> 00:17:52,646
honked if I liked anything.
421
00:17:56,318 --> 00:17:57,384
Oh!
422
00:17:57,386 --> 00:18:00,220
Uh... never have I ever
423
00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:04,290
thrown, caught or touched
a Frisbee.
424
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:13,266
Never have I ever
425
00:18:13,268 --> 00:18:15,635
put salt on my food
426
00:18:15,637 --> 00:18:17,604
without trying it first.
427
00:18:17,606 --> 00:18:19,806
Yeah...
428
00:18:21,009 --> 00:18:22,742
Oh!
429
00:18:22,744 --> 00:18:24,911
Never have I ever
430
00:18:24,913 --> 00:18:27,947
pushed all the buttons
in an elevator.
431
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,852
(gasps)
432
00:18:34,089 --> 00:18:36,322
Well, we all have a past.